🔗 Share this article

Sometimes, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he states. You feel invincible and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are often succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels sensitive and ashamed about his actions, leaving him especially susceptible to disapproval from external sources. He began to think he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms through digital sources – and eventually confirmed by a specialist. However, he doubts he would have taken the label if he hadn’t independently formed that understanding by himself. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they harbor feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding The Condition

Although people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, it’s not always clear what is meant by the term. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” states a psychology professor, adding the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he notes many people conceal it, as there is widespread prejudice linked to the illness. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “impaired compassion”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through behaviors including seeking admiration,” the specialist says. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in Narcissism

Although three-quarters of people identified as having the condition are men, studies points out this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is frequently manifests in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. Male narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, just kind of like everything in society,” notes an individual who posts about her dual diagnosis on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

It’s hard for me with dealing with feedback and not being accepted,” she shares, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I often enter defence mode or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been trying to overcome it and take advice from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the damaging patterns of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she states. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she explains she and her partner “operate with an understanding where we’ve agreed, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if I say something manipulative, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures during development. I’ve had to teach myself continuously what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because I never had that as a kid,” she comments. “Nothing was off-limits when my family members were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Underlying Factors of Narcissistic Traits

Personality disorders tend to be linked to childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to manage during childhood”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting particular demands. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult shares when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve good grades and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t forming deep connections, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage feelings. She is “highly empathetic of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he explains – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been recommended for talking therapy via government-funded care (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been proven effective NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for an extended period: The estimate was it is likely to occur early next year.”

John has only told a handful of people about his condition, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. “It helps me to understand myself better, which is always a good thing,” he says. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the presence of online advocates and the development of digital groups indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number